Exorcists Don't Wear Pink
by Eri Reed
Summary: 27-year-old Jack Tailor is the new Exorcist of the Black Order. He's handsome, strong, and talented. So why can't any of his comrades stand him? Because he's sexist. Can Miranda Lotto's kind nature change his ways for good? [DROPPED]


"Hey, guys, check this out!" I shouted. My buddies Christopher and Liam turned swiftly just in time to see me do the best cannonball ever. They laughed as the water splashed over them. I stayed under the water a good minute. Swimming was my favorite thing in the world. To me, swimming felt like flying under water. As a kid, the thought of drowning terrified me. Now that I'm a twenty-seven-year-old man, the thought of drowning has become a thrill.

When I came up, Liam gave me a wet high five. "Nice one, Jack." From behind him, Chris nodded, grinned, and gave me a thumbs-up. Here, in our secret lake in the woods, us guys could be guys. Chris Blake was a married man, working in the mines. His girl was expecting a baby and absolutely hated this dangerous town. Before the baby was born, she planned on moving away from here. Of course, Chris said okay. As a goodbye party, Liam and I brought him to our lake one last time.

Later in the day, as the sun went down, the three of us sat on a boulder, drying in the sun. Liam Carmichael lay on his back, hands behind his head, blue eyes closed against the brightness of the orange sun. Chris sat hugging his knees, watching the rippling water sparkle. I sat between the two of them, smoking on my cigarette. When I first started as a teenager, I could barely keep down the smell. Now, smoking's just become a habit. Chris and Liam didn't mind it at all. In fact, they didn't mind anything I did.

"Damn, guys," Chris muttered, "I'm gonna miss comin' here…"

"This has been our sanctuary for fourteen years," I noted solemnly.

"I lost my virginity on this rock," Liam said. My eye twitched and I scooted away from him a bit. It was quiet the next few minutes. We were all lost in thought of the past – when we met each other here when we were thirteen. I remember how we had fought over this place.

"_It's _my_ lake! I was here first!"_ we had argued. And then, after a brawl, we wearily agreed to share the place. Liam brought girls, I brought smokes, Chris brought booze. And then, one day, Chris met Sally and things kinda turned to shit. 'Cause they fell for each other, got married at twenty-one, and now she's knocked up. I swear, women mess everything up.

Chris's black hair shined in the sunlight. He had dark hair and dark eyes. Chris got the most chicks falling all over him. However, he didn't lose his virginity until he met Sally, unlike Liam who slept with every chick. Chicks seem to like the dark, mysterious type like Chris. Or the carefree type like Liam.

…What? Me? Well, sure, of course I've had sex before. However, girls don't tend to fall for the "condescending" type. Pfft; whatever that means.

Finally, after the long silence, Liam forced out an awkward sentence: "I'm…gonna miss this place, too."

Taking us off-guard, Chris and I turned to him, snapping, "What?"

Liam winced, and then sat up, scratching his head. He suddenly seemed pretty engrossed in a tree somewhere far off. "Agh, well…I was meanin' to tell you guys – especially you, Jack." I scowled at him, and he sighed deeply. "Look, this man came to me yesterday – some rich guy from England. He's travelling around the world and offered me to come with him. You know that I've been dying to go travelling, guys! It's been my dream to visit Japan."

I always knew that going around the world was Liam's dream, but I didn't think he'd just drop it off in my lap like that. But Liam never had a good education, so I never thought he'd go through with it. He'd never even contributed anything to it! What could I say? Who was I to deny him what he wanted most in life? Maybe that British guy would teach him a thing or two.

However, his news had brought me down: On the going away party for my best friend who's moving with his wife, my other best friend decides to tell me he's also leaving me behind to "shoot for his goals." I couldn't say anything. Seeing the disappointed look on Liam's face, Chris smiled and clapped his back. "I'm glad you're following your dreams, Liam," he said supportively.

The bastards. Both of them. Nothing but bastards.

… … …

Dressed warmly for the cold night, I walked Chris and Liam home. Chris was the first to be dropped off. Sally was waiting at the front door – swollen belly looking like it was ready to pop. Damn. If Chris wasn't with Sally, I certainly wouldn't mind being with her. She was a blond beauty, and now that she was pregnant, she was just absolutely glowing. Upon seeing her, Chris rushed to her arms and kissed her.

I inhaled nicotine with purpose.

Sally gave Liam and me a smile. "I'll sure miss you boys," she said genuinely. "Thanks for taking Christopher on one last guys-night-out."

I grunted in response, shoving my hands deeper into my pockets. Liam spoke instead. "No problem, Sally," he said. Chris and Liam shook hands and pulled the other into a hug. I shook Chris's hand, but didn't hug him. If I were to hug him, it would mean that he's leaving forever. And I promised him that I was going to see him again.

Reluctantly, Liam and I left Chris's side and I walked Liam home. The walk was quieted by tension. When we reached Liam's small home, we stood in a long silence. I wasn't going to forgive him for doing this. It was a bitch move for him to throw that on my plate, and I expected him to crack first and talk to me. After a few minutes, he did. With a deep sigh, the man ran his fingers through his short hair.

"Listen, Jack," he said tightly, "I'm sorry. OK? I don't know what else I can say to you."

"What you could have done was told me earlier, you prick," I said curtly. "Why wait until the day of Chris's going-away party to tell me, 'Oh, hey, Jack, guess what? I'm leaving across the globe!'?"

"Because I knew you'd be pissed at me like you are now!" he said. "And I didn't want you to hate me when we were supposed to be happy today."

I kicked at the green August grass. It would be September any day. "Yeah, and look how well that plan turned out." Liam went quiet. Neither of us knew what to do next. Was I supposed to shake his hand and say goodbye? Storm off and leave him behind?

I licked my lips. Just as I was about to say something, a gentle man's voice came from behind me. "Oh, e-excuse me…" I turned and Liam smiled. Behind me was some spiffy Brit with dark blue eyes, blond hair, and glasses. "You must be Jack Tailor," he said extending his hand. "Liam told me about you. My name is Daniel Clyde."

I couldn't stop myself from grimacing. This guy probably just wanted to get into Liam's pants or something. Daniel shifted uncomfortably and Liam stepped forward. "Please, come inside, Daniel." Then he turned to me. "Good bye, Jack…" he said solemnly.

Filled to the rim with fury, I spun on my heel and strode away from the two of them. I'd regret it later, but I would deal with that when the time came. For now, I just needed to go home. In my nice, comfy cabin, I'd start up the fire and then feed my horse while the house warmed. Jumper was a good horse – tall, brown, and majestic. I raised her ever since I was a kid and my mom brought her home as a Christmas present. That was the best Christmas I ever had.

Thinking about my mother just made me even more pissed, because when I thought of my mother, I thought of my father, and when I thought of my father…

I grit my teeth, momentarily forgetting the cigarette. Angrily, I spat out the bud and stomped on it on my way by. I was striding fast. Maybe I'd just run. Screw feeding the horse, I wanted to run away and kill something. But before I could, a scantily clad woman suddenly grabbed my arm. Her touch immediately made my thoughts slow. I knew what she was offering before she even got to talking dirty to me.

A smirk found its way to my lips and I accepted. I told her where I lived and told her to meet me in an hour. A woman was really what I needed to calm me down.

When I arrived home, the place was freezing. I took the matches off the fireplace and kindled a fire. It'd be perfectly toasty by the time the girl got here. Setting down the matches, I headed outside to Jumper. She was happy to see me and trotted over to me. My back yard was a large fenced in field. Jumper could roam free here. I wanted her to be happy. She would probably be happier in the wild, but I wouldn't let her go. I stroked her softly, gave her an apple, then refilled her water and food. I'd save cleaning up after her for tomorrow. I didn't want to smell worse for when my little friend came over.

When my little friend did come over, I took charge. Against the wall, on the table…On the bed, I made sure she was facing away from me. I'd had enough of seeing her face. I didn't ask her name – didn't need to know. Didn't ask how old she was – didn't want to know. Didn't ask if she was comfortable – didn't care to know.

…

By morning, the girl was gone and so was half of my wallet. Dumb whore. Women just always suck your life away, don't they?

In my sleep, I saw my mom. I don't remember much from the dream. I saw her smile. There was blood. And then I was awake. Sitting up slowly, I tangled my fingers in my brown hair, feeling exhausted and a bit sore. Popping my back, I decided to go for a ride. I dressed and went to get Jumper. At my whistle, she came. Then, I hopped up on her back. We jumped the fence and made easy pace to the forest.

A sick feeling formed in my gut, making me sick. Maybe I should go see if Chris and Liam were still home. I'd apologize to Liam and we'd spend the day with Chris. No…I didn't want to waste time on them anymore. They were assholes who only cared about themselves. Clicking my heels against Jumper's sides, she automatically quickened her pace. Subconsciously, I think I planned to keep riding forever. Screw everyone else and go to a different town. Start a new life there with Jumper.

People would think I was fancy or something and I'd get even more girls than I already did. Heh. That sounded like a great plan. Maybe I wouldn't even do that. Maybe I'd live on my own in the forest. This place was beautiful and comfy. I'd really like it here in solitude. But then I thought against it, because when you're alone, your thoughts wander.

Lifting my head, I looked around at my surroundings. How long had I been riding? I woke up at noon. Judging by the sun's position, it must have been in the afternoon already. I rubbed my eye and sighed deeply. Yep. I was lost. "Shit!" I exclaimed.

_Don't even worry about it, Jack,_ I told myself. _Just turn around and keep going forward. You'll find your way back sometime. _I clicked my tongue, but just as I was going to tell Jumper to turn, we came to a bright clearing that I had to check out. Jumper slowed her pace as I studied our surroundings. Certainly I'd been through this part of the forest before – I'd seen all the forest! But for some reason, it didn't feel the same.

The atmosphere felt just that much heavier, the air was sparkling in the light. I frowned deeply. What was different? I wondered. Well, when I found out the item in question, I regretted it.

It was a scythe, carefully placed against a tree. Raising my eyebrow suspiciously, I jumped off Jumper and approached it. The closer I got, the more it seemed to glow eerily. Did it belong to someone? Did someone lose it and it ended up here?

Reluctantly, I grabbed the scythe. On contact, green light burst from the weapon so bright, I had to shield my eyes.

What…

The hell…

Was that about?

I looked back at Jumper as if she'd have the answer. The only response she gave me was a frantic neigh. The horse backed away, panicked. There was something behind me. The presence was clear as day: eyes watching me, the click of a gun. I spun around, tightening my grip on the scythe to use as a weapon against…

What was this creature? I'd never seen anything like it! It was bigger than me – round and gray with a frowning face. It floated in mid-air, cannons jutting out all over its body. I couldn't react quickly enough before it pointed a cannon right at me. The cannon glowed pink inside. I was going to die! It-it was going to shoot me!

"Time Record! Time Out!"

…Nothing happened. I slowly removed my arms from blocking me to see that I was trapped in a dome made of gold. No, it wasn't made of gold. It was a black dome made of gold clocks. The hands stood completely still. I did a 360, searching for Jumper. Where was I?

I didn't find Jumper, but when I shifted my eyes down, I saw…a woman. A beautiful woman, at that.

She lifted her head from the large watch floating between her hands and gave me the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. "D-don't worry," she said. Her voice was soft and timid. "You're safe."


End file.
